You Might Be from Chicago If . . .

If you think "county employee" and "cousin" are synonyms . . .

If the amount you spend for parking is equal to half your rent money , , ,

If you think "recycling" is what you did to get to work when your new car was towed and sold "for scrap" . . .

. . . you might be from Chicago.

If the you think the Department of Sanitation is where city lawyers work . . .

If you think the Animal Control Department is in the store where you buy traps to catch the damn thing yourself . . .

. . . you might be from Chicago.

If a politician's threat to remove chairs from parking spaces in the winter hurts his chances for election in the fall . . .

If you think recycling is how to get to work after you removed a chair to park in someone else's spot . . .

. . . you might be from Chicago.

If a felon convicted of bribery is hired by the county after he serves his time (and you're not surprised) . . .

If you can gauge your city's desire for revenue by the increase in illegal parking zones . . .

. . . you might be from Chicago.

If you know someone who makes more than you, and has more days off his county job than there are days in the year . . .

If text-messaging while driving is more important to the political class than the murder rate (that is not the Mayor's responsibility) . . .

If you wake up one morning to vandalized airport runways - and it was the Mayor who sent the bulldozers . . .

If the hottest political issue of the day is whether or not you can eat duck liver . . .

. . . you are from Chicago.

If your definition of a close election is when the opposition hasn't disappeared from the ballot . . .

If you're told that gasoline is a dollar cheaper 8 miles from you, and you think it's Republicans plotting with Big Oil . . .

If you think news of political corruption should be on the sports page . . .

. . . you might be from Chicago.