Arsonist seeks pension; it's the 'Chicago Way'

For our out-of-town visitors who are trying to learn how funny-business is done around here - in this place where you need a family tree program to keep track of the incestuous connections, where shady conversations are held between go-betweens - here is a beautiful example. This is the kind of story Chicagoans have heard many, many times. It involves two brothers - in Chicago Tribune columnist John Kass's words, "convicted bribe-taker John 'Quarters' Boyle and the fire lieutenant/arsonist Jeffrey 'Matches' Boyle." Kass writes:

"Years ago, Quarters was convicted of stealing millions of dollars in quarters from the state toll roads. After his punishment, he received a cushy city job. Daley told me politics had nothing to do with it, but all the while Quarters was getting out the vote with The Coalition for Better Government, a pro-Daley patronage army of payroll hacks, tough guys and felons.

Sadly, Quarters is now back in federal prison, this time for taking more than $200,000 in bribes in the mayor's Hired Truck scandal. But Quarters is keeping his mouth shut. And as he sits tight, his brother wants a pension."

Yes, out-of-towner, you heard right. The convicted fire lieutenant-cum-arsonist - whose brother was convicted of theft of state money and bribery in city services - is suing for his pension as a fire fighter. Go read the rest of the story . . .

Chicagoans, thanks for your patience - and please wake up now. You're snoring.